Something New- 2 Nephi 5

So I learned in this chapter that Nephi really did have sisters. I remember in the Living Scriptures cartoon there is a little girl, but I didn't know if she was just historical fiction... I guess not (v 6).

My favorite verse in this chapter is v 27... "And it came to pass that we lived after the manner of happiness."

That verse says so much and makes me wonder so much at the same time. It comments on how important happiness is to Nephi. It illustrates the fact that Nephi chooses to be happy even through all that he has experienced. He never appears to wallow in self pity even with how his brothers treated him, how hard things were in the wilderness, and despite the fact that the Lamanites are already bringing war on his people.

But it also raises the question, what does happiness mean to Nephi and his people? What brings their happiness? It is interesting that right after he talks about the Lamanites being a scourge to his people to stir them up unto remembrance, he says they lived after the manner of happiness. Rather humorous. Nephi really is a funny guy if you think about it.

His innermost desires- 2 Nephi 4

This is absolutely one of my favorite chapters in the Book of Mormon. As soon as Nephi says "...upon these [plates] I write the things of my soul," I become so curious to what those things are. What are Nephi's most innermost thoughts and feelings? This righteous unwavering man that has been through so much tribulation in his life? He shares his innermost spiritual feelings in this chapter, and I love it.

"For my soul delighteth in the scriptures, and my heart pondereth them, and writeth them for the learning and the profit of my children.

16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.

17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.

19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.

20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.

22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.

24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.

25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.

26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?

27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?

28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.

29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.

30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.

31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?

32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!

33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.

34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.

35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, therock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen."

I know that was a lot to quote, but I just couldn't leave any of it out. I love it all. It is all so poignant, so tender. I love how He describes the feeling of the love of the Lord. How it has consumed his flesh and carried him upon high mountains, and made him strong before his enemies. I love how he much he loves the scriptures and the gospel. How he ponders them "continually," and how he is constantly trying to relate them to his life and understand every aspect of what the Lord could be trying to teach. Nephi seems like such a humble, faithful man. And yet he is discouraged by his sinfulness...?? I can't imagine. But I guess this is what makes him real. He does make mistakes. I'm sure they are not as bad as mine, but at least he knows he's not perfect. In fact, he is painfully aware of his imperfections... even to the point of being in the "valley of sorrow."

I guess if we could find one sin of Nephi's in this chapter we could look at how he talks about his so called enemies. He talks in v. 22 about how the Lord has confounded his enemies. It seems rather humorous to me that he refers to Laman and Lemuel as his enemies. I mean who else would he be talking about? Its all his family from here on out. Then in revealing some of his greatest wishes, he says in v. 33, "Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy." How funny is that? Please Lord, make life harder for Laman and Lemuel, and easier for me. But who knows, maybe he just wants the Lord to make his brothers "stumble" so that it will take them longer to catch up to him once he gets away from them.

2 Nephi 1- Wake up already!!

I've been a little lazy with my scripture reading and recording lately. You would think I would read and write more on Sundays..? But not this Sunday. Oh well.

I'm excited to be moving on to 2 Nephi, and I love this first chapter. Lehi's family has arrived in the promised land, and Nephi has been trying to teach his brothers and their families... maybe one last effort to change their hearts before he takes off on his own? Well, Lehi sure puts in his last effort before he passes away. He basically says, wake up already!! Stop being weighed down and blinded by the heavy chains of sin! Get up and dust off your clothes and get your butts in gear already!! Very bold... and yet I can almost see the tenderness in the eyes of Lehi as he is begging his sons, whom he still loves so much, his body weary with worry and age. I love when Nephi says "he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent," (1 Ne 8:37), and in this chapter when Lehi says "hear the words of a trembling parent," it helps me picture the love and concern Lehi had for his undeserving sons. And how much more does Heavenly Father love us, even when we make mistakes... and desire for us to come back to Him! Here are my fav verses of the chapter...

13 O that ye would awake; awake from a deep sleep, yea, even from the sleep of hell, and shake off the awful chains by which ye are bound, which are the chains which bind the children of men, that they are carried away captive down to the eternal gulf of misery and woe.

14 Awake! and arise from the dust, and hear the words of a trembling parent, whose limbs ye must soon lay down in the cold and silent grave, from whence no traveler can return; a few more days and I go the eway of all the earth.

23 Awake, my sons; put on the armor of arighteousness. Shake off the chains with which ye are bound, and come forth out of obscurity, and arise from the dust.

24 Rebel no more against your brother, whose views have been glorious, and who hath kept the commandments from the time that we left Jerusalem; and who hath been an instrument in the hands of God, in bringing us forth into the land of promise; for were it not for him, we must have perished with hunger in the wilderness; nevertheless, ye sought to take away his life; yea, and he hath suffered much sorrow because of you.

25 And I exceedingly fear and tremble because of you, lest he shall suffer again; for behold, ye have accused him that he sought power and authority over you; but I know that he hath not sought for power nor authority over you, but he hath sought the glory of God, and your own eternal welfare.

26 And ye have murmured because he hath been plain unto you. Ye say that he hath used sharpness; ye say that he hath been angry with you; but behold, his sharpness was the sharpness of the power of the word of God, which was in him; and that which ye call anger was the truth, according to that which is in God, which he could not restrain, manifesting boldly concerning your iniquities.

I think we can all relate, pleading with our children. The deep desire we have for them to really understand the gospel, to love it the way we do, to make right decisions, without us making them for them! Its sometimes hard to let our kids make their own choices, especially when they fail. I know it is for me! Some kids more than others, I just want to take them by the hand and show (or tell!) them exactly what to do!! Ugh. I tried it, they don't listen. I have to let go more. Even though I don't wanna.

1 Nephi 21- More Isaiah

More Isaiah. More symbolism that mostly eludes me. Especially when I am sleep deprived. ;)

I do recognize some great symbolism of the people of Israel and the Gentiles, and how in the latter days the Gentiles will take care of the house of Israel and they will once again by brought together after generations of wandering and being lost.

My favorite verses tonight are v 15 and 16.

"For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel.

Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me."

Now being a mother, I know I would never forget one of my children, nay I live for my children, each and every day, and almost every moment of every day. Now not only does He compare His remembrance to a mother, but a nursing mother... how could a nursing mother ever forget her baby? That is the ultimate bond at the beginning of life, the ultimate tenderness of a mother taking care of a helpless infant, lovingly, 24 hours a day. And yet the Lord's love and remembrance and continual labor for us is way above and beyond this strongest of ties. How comforting that we can have that kind of love and support 24 hours a day! I love when He says "thy walls are continually before me." I picture the Lord, while going about His day, having a mental "wall" before Him, a constant reminder of our needs, our pains, our trials. But without a burdened look on His face, as I know I would surely have, never being able to focus on just myself. Its hard enough with just 5 kids, can you imagine having that kind of love for trillions?

1 Nephi 20- huh?

Okay, now we get to Isaiah... I have a hard time with Isaiah. Who doesn't? But some people actually get it, believe it or not. I know somewhere in the B of M it talks about how Isaiah and Revelations were originally simple to understand, and then the plain and precious parts were taken away. And apparently Nephi read Isaiah and really got something out of it, because he is quoting it in this chapter. But my question is this:

Why are the quoted chapters of Isaiah exactly the same in the Book of Mormon as the Old Testament? If they were once plain and precious, wouldn't Nephi's also plain and precious? Are they exactly the same because the LDS version of the bible used the quoted versions from the Book of Mormon? Maybe this is the more plain and precious version! I have always wondered about that. Does anybody know??

Anyhow, in reading this chapter, I realized my mistake in trying to understand each individual expression of Isaiah. I now know I have to try to just get the gist of what Isaiah (and really the Lord) is trying to tell us. I think the basic summary is that the Lord is very disappointed with Israel. That although he has given them many revelations and blessings, they are very stubborn and slow to recognize His hand, but quick to think "mine idol hath done [these great works]," or "behold I [already] knew them (the Lord's teachings)." Which sounds a lot like a few certain older brothers I know. I guess they really did fit in in Jerusalem. But I think Nephi quotes this chapter to support what he was saying in 1 Nephi 17 about how hard hearted the Israelites were even after the Lord led them out of the promised land. And how he doesn't want his people to end up like the Israelites.

My favorite verse is v 18. "O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments—then had thy peace been as a river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea."

How simple and beautiful is that? And doesn't that sound just like Lehi, and his pleadings to his sons? If we just listen, if we just try, we will save ourselves so much grief! We will have overwhelming peace and comfort, even amidst our trials. But we make things so hard for ourselves. Laman and Lemuel made life so difficult and dreary, when all they had to do was ask the Lord and remember. Not really too difficult, but they just wouldn't. How many times are we like that? Refusing to ask the Lord when He is so willing to give us anwers and the help we need. Its kind of like how the Israelites wouldn't look at the serpent to be saved because it was too simple. Is reading scriptures everyday, praying every day, and having FHE once a week really that hard? Then why do I have such a hard time sticking with it sometimes?! I really think its because it is so simple, and sometimes we want to do profound things that we feel will make a huge difference, and we forget how much impact the simple things have. They don't feel so important at the time, but they really mean a lot.

I've gotta keep telling myself that so I will do them!! Especially the next FHE when the kids are all screaming, not paying attention and I am ready to give up and go shoot myself. ;) Its the little things that count!

1 Nephi 18 & 19- Remember!

I really love reading scriptures online and listening to them at the same time. Maybe absorbing the scriptures with 2 of my senses helps me focus better. :)

I have to say, I am amazed that once again Laman, Lemuel, and the sons of Ishmael have forgotten. How long could it have been since they helped Nephi finish the boat and received several witnesses that this was the Lord's work? I mean they are on the boat in this chapter after all, and they've already forgotten! I guess I have been guilty of forgetting though, too. Maybe not to the same degree as these guys, but so many nights in my prayer I ask Heavenly Father to forgive me for the same things over and over! Like being impatient with my kids. Since hindsight is 20/20, its always easy for me at bedtime to see the mistakes I made during the day. And so easy for me to see the mistakes of these guys when several months are summarized in a few short verses. I guess thats what is so great about the scriptures... we can learn from others mistakes by relating them to our lives. Which is precisely what Nephi encourages us to do in 19:23. He says "I did liken all scriptures unto us, that it might be for our profit and learning." I wonder if he realized people would be doing the same thing about his writings? I'll bet he didn't.

Nephi sure did a great job of relating the scriptures to his own life. I found myself amazed in chapter 18 at how patient he was with his brothers after they tied him up for 4 days, his wrists and ankles swelling all the while, and then watching the worry and extreme stress of his parents, younger brothers Jacob and Joseph, his wife and children. I'm sure that was a very hard thing to watch. And yet he didn't complain. How??? How could he not rebuke his brothers and command them to untie him? How did he have so much wisdom and patience to realize "the Lord did suffer it that He might show forth his power, unto the fulfilling of his word, which He had spoken concerning the wicked" ? How did he not just get ticked off and feel sorry for himself? I sure would have. But then when I read chapter 19, v 9 specifically, I realized how he suffered these things with so much patience. He truly likened the scriptures unto himself when he related to the Saviors sufferings. "And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men." He must have realized, when being tied up that what he was going through was nothing compared to what the Lord would go through. I think I will try to remember Nephi the next time I feel sorry for myself because someone hurt my feelings, or my husband doesn't let me use his iPod (wink wink honey), or I feel misunderstood. I sometimes have a hard time forgiving people when they do things I feel are intentional and upsetting... but I think Nephi realized that holding on to anger or feeling sorry for himself and not forgiving won't help any when trying to stay close to the Lord. I mean, what would have happened if Nephi backlashed when his brothers set him free, or even stayed a little angry at them? Would the Liahona have worked? I highly doubt it. And then they would have drowned in the depths of the sea. I think I need to ponder on how my holding onto to anger, hurt and resentment is affecting my family's progression. Sometimes I think "well, I deserve to be angry" or "they deserve me being angry at them." But Nephi, seeing the bigger picture, didn't worry about those petty things. I hope I can see the bigger picture, too.

Seek then Speak (or write...)

So I decided to start a scripture study blog. A few days ago I was studying in 1 Ne 17 and it was so powerful to me, I had to write my thoughts down. Because I had more thoughts than just a few scribbles and highlights in my scriptures, I wrote in my online journal. But I then I thought, how fun would it be to share these thoughts with other people and get their feedback too?? I'm super excited to enhance my scripture study in this way, and I would love any and all comments, questions and insights!!

1 Nephi 17- Oops they forgot!

Here is my journal entry from yesterday. Its kinda long, and I was mostly writing to myself, but I included it in its entirety anyway. Feel free to add any thoughts you have on this chapter, or anything else it brings to mind!

Sometimes I am amazed at how powerful the scriptures can be. I just read 1 Nephi 17 and I loved so much about it. I read it online and listened to it as well, and it spoke volumes to me.

What hits me most profoundly is Laman and Lemuel and all that the Lord has shown them and how they constantly forget. In the previous chapter, 16, they actually hear the voice of the Lord (v 39). Who knows how much time has passed before ch 17, but it can't be more than a year, and already they are once again ready to kill Nephi! Then, as they are once again threatening Nephi, he proceeds to teach them a beautiful analogy from the Old Testament, of the children of Israel and how the Lord led them out of Egypt, and provided so many miracles for them, and yet many of them hardened their hearts, just like Laman and Lemuel. Nephi actually told them they were being just like the people the Lord destroyed in the promised land, and that they were murderers, just like the people in Jerusalem, and the Lord destroys the wicked, so they'd better watch out. Well maybe he didn't say it like that, but they were sure ticked. They wanted to throw him into the ocean. But fortunately, the Lord protected Nephi for a few days, and the spirit was so strong with him, in fact, that his brothers didn't even try to lay their hands on him. The Lord knew they still had anger in their hearts though. So he told Nephi to shake them. The last verse, 55, is so ironic and beautiful to me, because when Nephi shakes them, they start to worship him! They go from wanting to kill him to thinking he's a god! The beautiful part comes when Nephi says, I am just your brother, yea, even your younger brother.... worship God and honor your parents. In other words, when Nephi has the chance to have his brothers finally bow down to him, he shows them they were wrong all along, that he doesn't want the power the so often accuse him of (i.e. 1 Ne 16:38). All he wants is for them to obey the Lord and respect their parents. For his happiness? No, only for theirs. What a beautiful verse. I wonder how long they remember this time??

Another aspect of ch 17 that is very touching to me is Nephis perspective on their time in the wilderness. It is a very different one than that of his brothers'. In v 20, we hear the perspective of Laman and Lemuel, that their wives have gone through so much in the wilderness, that it would have been better if they would have died before they even left Jerusalem. But at the beginning of the chapter, we see from Nephis perspective, all the ways the Lord has blessed them in the wilderness and helped them accomplish His commandments. How the women had become strong like unto the men, so they could bear their burdens. How they had been able to provide for their babies while they were nursing. How Heavenly Father made it possible for all of them to survive and thrive on raw meat only. And how they even got to the point of bearing their burdens without out complaint. And I do love how he doesn't pretend that there weren't afflictions, in fact, in v1 he says they did "wade through much affliction in the wilderness." But he chooses to focus on how Heavenly Father has helped him through these afflictions. And it seems Nephi has gained much through this time in the wilderness, he has learned to really rely on the Lord, and, probably through much prayer and pondering, has acquired a deep understanding of afflictions and of the scriptures.

I often wonder how I would have handled these afflictions in the wilderness if I were called on to do the same thing? Would I be a Laman or a Nephi? Maybe more like a Sam. I always wonder what he is doing when Nephi is having his confrontations with his brothers. Maybe just sitting back and watching, hoping to not get involved. Maybe trying to get Laman and Lemuel to stop without much success. Maybe stepping in and giving some chastisement of his own every once in a while. That might have been recorded had there been a book of Sam. :) Sometimes I really wish Lehi would have just let Laman and Lemuel go back to Jerusalem! I'll bet they could have if they really wanted to. But they chose to stay and complain and be martyrs and try constantly to kill their brother and father. Life would have been so much easier for everyone else in their family, and I'll bet the Book of Mormon would have been filled with less bloodshed if they would have just stayed in Jerusalem! But I know they had a purpose as a scourge to Nephi's seed to stir them up unto remembrance. Plus Lehi loved them. He wouldn't just leave his oldest sons when he knew they would surely perish in Jerusalem. Even though that's what they wanted. And really, what they deserved. ;)